On Your Knees
by ElectricScarlet
Summary: Thorin Oakenshield won back Erebor, barely escaping with his life. When the time comes to choose someone to lead his army to success, he is forced to choose a woman who he has a past with, unknown to his peers. During her time in Erebor, will they be able to stop themselves from falling in love all over again? [Thorin/OC] [Rated M for smut] [REWRITING. FINISHED CHAPTERS PUBLISHED]
1. Chapter 1

**This story was really calling for a rewrite. I started it quite a while ago when I wasn't a good writer and I had no sense of planning whatsoever. So I'm going to keep the storyline relatively the same, but I'm switching a few things around and making the actual genuine romance start a lot later. I'm also pondering whether I should change the whole story into all third person POV or just first person. Please help me decide, because I'm quite torn on that aspect.**

Thorin Oakenshield sighed as a thumping headache erupted in his forehead for the third time that night. The oak table in his bedroom was absolutely flooded with letters that he wouldn't bother to read and reports from the groups of men he'd sent to different parts of Middle-earth. He hadn't realized that being a King would harbor so much stress and tire. He was worn out, to say the least. With a dreadful pang, it finally clicked that as much as he hated to admit it, it was making him slightly regret taking back Erebor.

The thought made him bolt upright in his seat. "No." His fist collided with the wooden table, shifting a few papers. Thror and Thrain before him had treasured this mountain, and it was his destiny to rule it until the end of his days. The thought of giving up was simply .

"Thorin?" There was a soft thumping on his door. His forehead resting in his hand, Thorin sighed.

"Enter." He answered wearily. The door opened and Balin entered, a concerned look adorning his features.

"You seem to be troubled of late." The elder dwarf expressed, standing in the threshold of Thorin's quarters. "Come, Fili, Kili, Tauriel and Dwalin are about to have a pint. I think it'll do you some good."

Tauriel. The King almost grimaced at the mention of the she-elf. True, she had been nothing but helpful upon her arrival, but he was still not fond of Elves. And he respected Kili and his wishes to be with the Elvish woman, but she had yet to prove trustworthy.

Thorin found himself standing and he nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Alright. I will be there in a moment."

Balin gave a small nod, and he turned to exit the King's quarters. Before he left, he asked, "Have you given any thought about who will be captain of your army?"

He had, but he decided not to voice his decision yet. "No. Now leave me. I will meet you in a few minutes." The tone in his voice was clear, and Balin gave another nod, exiting and closing the door behind him.

Thorin slung his fur cloak over his shoulders, relishing the feeling of it upon his skin again. It seemed to somewhat calm him down slightly, and he cast another look at his table once more as he exited his quarters and walked down the hall towards the main dining room.

Laughter rung out from behind the closed door and it made Thorin's head pound. He was beginning to regret agreeing to this, but he had already brought his hand to rest on the handle. He pushed the door open and was greeted by the strong stench of fresh ale. Despite his misgivings, the smell made his mouth water and he found himself sitting between Fili and Balin at the oaken table.

"Glad to see you've joined us, Thorin." Kili greeted, his arm entwined with Tauriel's. She gave him a soft, respectful nod and he grudgingly allowed himself to admit that her attempt at being sociable was respectable. He found himself returning the greeting to her.

"Aye." He answered, his gruff voice low and quiet. A large mug of ale was placed before him by Balin, who gave him a small smile.

"You've deserved it, my King." He said, and without a second thought Thorin grasped the tankard and downed it swiftly.

Fili chuckled. "By the looks of you, it seems as if you haven't drank for moons."

Thorin merely grunted in response, pushing the mug back to Balin who happily poured him another.

Several ales later, Thorin found his headache easing slightly, much to his surprise. The stress was easing, if only for a little while. He made a mental note to do this more often. Kili was laughing drunkenly to Tauriel, who although was not even slightly inebriated, laughed along with him. Thorin had to admit to himself that he was glad to see Kili so happy. He had not been so since he had parted with his mother. Fili seemed to be the only thing keeping him sane, until Tauriel had been introduced into his life.

With a sigh, Thorin made yet another note that he was still unbetrothed and Erebor needed a queen, whether he liked it or not. He was never going to find a suitable dwarven woman, because of obvious reasons. His only other resort was a human, hobbit or elf. He almost choked at the thought of marrying an elf. It would take some time yet to overcome that hatred.

"Thorin, I think we're done for tonight." Fili said, intruding into the King's thoughts. "We're out of ale, and the breweries are locked up for the night."

Thorin grunted, getting to his feet. "Alright. Get your brother to rest safely," he said, noting Kili's obviously incoherent state. His eyes met Tauriel's and he gave a small nod before turning to return to his quarters.

As soon as the door shut behind him, he groaned as the papers on his table were made ever more apparent to him. He steeled his mind and ignored them as he fell onto his bed, relishing the feeling of laying down once again. He didn't bother to take off his coat before his eyes closed and he fell into a deep sleep.

**x**

The next morning was uneventful. Thorin struggled to get together his needed supplies for a week's journey and leave Erebor without being noticed. He notified only Dwalin of his departure, leaving him in charge but sparing the details of why. It was a definite struggle to avoid interrogation by any of his kin and he barely slipped out of the mountain without being found out. He had a horse waiting for him at the entrance, tied up to a stone post. He mounted the pony without delay and set off towards the ruins of Lake-town.

Not a day would pass without guilt clouding his thoughts. He would stand strong in his decisions, but the wailing women and crying children reminded him too much of his own struggle after Smaug had attacked the mountain. He steeled himself and took a deep breath. If the whole journey would be spent reminiscing then it would not do him any good whatsoever.

He rode over the battlefield that had so many memories. He felt as if he could still see the blood of his kin and foes alike spilt all over the grass. The memory was so fresh, he felt a shiver down his spine. He had a feeling that the battle would not be the last to be fought by his armies across the lands.

He found the solitary days of travel merge into one another and he found himself riding endlessly without only a few hours of rest every few days. He seldom felt the exhaustion, surprisingly. And after a three days ride westward, he came to the stone gates of Fanthorpe Hold.

This place, although he had not seen it with his own eyes before, was a place he had never wanted to approach. Fanthorpe was the stronghold of a woman who owned a small army. But that was not the reason for her fame.

Thorin knew her, and he knew her well. She was to be handled with care when spoken to, and Thorin knew he was not a tactful dwarf. But if he were to have her assistance, then he would need to be. She was a woman of remarkable strength and prowess. Just what he needed, although their history was not exactly kindly.

But this was necessary. He steeled himself, took a deep breath and entered the keep.


	2. Chapter 2

"Who goes there?" Thorin had barely stepped foot inside the hold before a strong, masculine voice called out aggresively. He looked up and saw archers in the rafters with their bows drawn, and their arrows aimed straight at him. A man clad in steel plate armor stood at a tower before the iron gates which led into the main keep.

"Thorin Oakenshield, King under the Mountain." Thorin answered, his low voice sounding somewhat irritated. "I am here on official business."

"What are your purposes here?" The guard insisted.

"That is to stay between your lady and I _only_." He retorted, his brows furrowing. He did not like this meddling man.

The guard hesitated for a moment before giving a nod. "Very well... You may enter after we take your weapons." As if on cue, two men in black cloaks, presumably mages, came from behind the pillars. One of them roughly rid him of his sword and the other searched him for other hidden weapons. Thorin stifled a sigh of immense irritation.

"I have no more weapons." He said quietly and emotionlessly. "Now let me pass."

The two mages decided he was telling the truth after a minute of thorough searching, and they walked back into the darkness from whence they came. The iron gates opened and Thorin strode into the keep as if it were his own home.

Thorin navigated his way through the endless stone corridors of the keep. Seldom did he see soldiers, but he saw the odd few people tending to their duties. He guessed the soldiers stayed elsewhere in the stronghold.

Eventually he came to a long hallway only lighted by candles on the walls. At the end of the hallway was a simple wooden door. He inhaled deeply and prepared to continue walking forward when he heard her smooth, low voice behind him.

"Well, well. If it isn't Thorin Oakenshield, great King under the Mountain." He turned to face her. Her head was cocked slightly and she was leaning up against the wall behind him. He didn't bother to ponder how she got there without him noticing, as she was quite masterful of stealth. "I never thought I would see the day when you graced my halls with your presence." He was unsure whether the words were in a mocking manner or not.

Her dark hair was tied back and her intense silver gaze pierced his own. She was clad in tight fitting black leather which he assumed was armored to the best of her ability. She had two daggers of a presumably Elvish make at her back and a trace of a smirk graced her lips.

"A warm welcome would suffice, Elysian." He answered, his voice quiet and low. "After all, were we not allies?"

"Oh, long ago, yes." She answered, pushing herself off the wall. Her arms remained crossed underneath her breasts. "But that was... Fourteen, fifteen years ago? Times have changed, Oakenshield. And I dare ask you what the hell you're doing in my keep."

"I come with a proposition." He held out a sealed letter. "If I may ask, could we speak about it in private?"

One eyebrow raised and she kept her gaze locked to his, examining his worth/truthfulness/trustworthiness or whatever() before she finally submitted and turned. "Alright. Come."

**x**

_Thorin Oakenshield? _As soon as she saw him in her halls, she was curious. But it was hard to ignore the twinge of pain in her chest. After all, their history was not necessarily nice.

Elysian entered her quarters and allowed Thorin to close the door behind them. She strode to her desk, sitting in the wooden chair and turning her eyes to his, encouraging() him to speak with a single hand gesture.

It was a few moments before he spoke. "I am finding that my armies are in need of a captain." He said. "It would serve my kingdom well if you were to take that role." His voice was laced with discontent. "Much to my disappointment."

"Yes, I get it. You would rather have one of your own kind as captain rather than a bloody half-Elf. I get it." She sent a venomous glare his way before clasping her hands in front of her and resting her forehead on her hands.

"I'll be expecting a letter by the week's end." His husky voice was the last thing she heard as he turned and exited her quarters, the door shutting behind him.

She darted to her feet and swung the door open once more to see him making his escape. "Oh, no you don't." She called out, making him come to a halt. He turned, his blue eyes withering.

"We have things to talk about." Her gaze was definitely as piercing as she hoped it would be, as Thorin wouldn't meet her eyes. "You lack information, and that is what I need to come to a desicion. So get your ass back here and speak with me."

Grudgingly he rolled his eyes and trudged back to her room. She turned and entered again, sitting back in her seat. Thorin stood there somewhat awkwardly, his eyes on the floor.

"What do _I_ get out of it, hmm?" Elysian cleared her throat before deciding to break the heavy() silence. "Money, jewels... They mean very little to me. So what can you possibly offer me?"

"It is not so much an offer, but an understanding." Thorin answered. His voice was decidedly unhappy. "You and your legion come to stay in Erebor, you get to command my army and you have an alliance with the strongest army in Middle-earth."

"You aren't yet," Elysian pointed out, placing the letter on the table and crossing her arms. "You have to come up with a better argument than that."

"With you in command, my army will be the most powerful in Middle-earth. You do not see my motives." Thorin seemed to be getting impatient. "It is obvious you have nothing better to do with your time. Just look at this place." He gestured around the room. Bottles of alcohol lay around, books were strewn across her large table and targets were lined with arrows and slashes from her daggers. It was obvious that she was getting bored with whatever she was doing outside her room.

Elysian bit her lip, mulling it over. "I suppose you are right..." She mumbled. "I do not know how to respond. Thorin, this is a big move. I would like at least a week to come to a decision. This is very sudden."

"Then I will be expecting a response by the full moon." He spun around, his fur cloak flying behind him. "Good day."

She watched him leave her quarters and she stood there for a few moments after he disappeared from sight, her hands on her hips. He was a stubborn man of little patience, and not a man to toy with. She would have to come to a decision in his favor, whether she liked it or not.

Elysian flopped back down in her chair, weighing up the pros and cons in her mind. _I suppose staying in Erebor would present a good chance for my men to get out into the battlefield... Oh but then Fanthorpe would be vulnerable to attackers! _She let out a groan of frustration. "I'll sleep on it." She decided aloud. She then got to her feet and all but fell into her bed. But she found that sleep came hard with Thorin and his proposal on her mind.

**x**

"Thorin! Welcome back!" He was greeted by his kin almost as soon as he walked into Erebor. Dwalin came and whacked him on the shoulder. As glad as Thorin was to see his friends again, he found their excessive chatter irritating through his grumpy, sleep-deprived mood.

"Leave him, he has had a long journey." Balin came and shooed the other dwarves away, and his gaze suggested he knew something was up. Thorin plonked down on his throne, massaging his forehead.

The rest of the dwarves, save Balin, left the throne room. He sighed, relishing the silence, until Balin broke it.

"What business did you have near the Grey Mountains?"

Thorin looked at Balin with tired blue eyes. "Seeking out a potential captain for the army."

"Oh, no, not..." His voice trailed off and Thorin nodded.

"Yes, the captain of Fanthorpe Hold." He responded, his voice quiet and low.

"She is a powder keg, your Majesty." Balin warned. "You know that, don't you?"

"She's our best option, Balin. And last time I checked, you are not King."

Balin hesitated before giving a slow nod. "Yes, you're right. Apologies." He turned and shuffled out of the room without another word.

Thorin sighed, massaging his forehead. He knew it would be challenging to put aside his misgivings for Elven-kind, but business was more important than his own feelings. He had been rudely introduced to that fact several times.

He just hoped that he had the willpower to get through the ordeal without going insane.

**x**

Elysian woke the next morning, her hair an absolute mess and the abundance of random items she had used to kill time were still all over her room. And she still had no idea what to do.

"Good morning." The deep voice of her second in command, Dellian, came from her desk. She rolled her eyes and turned over in her bed to face him.

"I believe I didn't give you permission to enter, Dellian." She said, arching an eyebrow. He didn't say anything for a few moments.

"Erebor, hmm?" He inquired. She sensed his obvious disrespect seething through his teeth.

"I believe I did not make myself clear. Leave me until you have permission to be in my personal quarters." Her voice hardened and she turned over heavily to face the wall. A few moments later, the door closed with a soft click.

She honestly was not very fond of her second in command, and he was not fond of her either. She sighed. They used to be quite good friends, until Dellian just changed. It was a shame.

Elysian sat up, caressing her messy black hair and running her fingers through it to make herself look somewhat presentable. She swung her legs out of bed and got to her feet. There was no rest for the wicked, and she had a lot of things to do.

She swiftly put on her armor and examined herself in the mirror before walking out into the hall. She walked down the stone corridors in silence, encountering no one. She made her way to the soldier's courtyard and was pleased to see about twenty men practicing their skills and training. Elysian continued across the courtyard towards the barracks, which were quite large in size to accomodate her 200 or so men.

"Good morning." Elysian called out upon entry to wake any men still slumbering. "Come on, you've all got things to do today. Hurry up." She walked through the bedrooms and into Dellian's small office.

He was sitting at his desk with, to her annoyance, a letter on his table. He merely looked up at her and back down at the paper again upon her entry.

"What?"

She stifled the urge to pull a dagger on him. "That is not a fitting way to greet your lady." She rebuked, pacing the room. "How many men do we have in exact numbers?"

"209, your grace." He sneered. Elysian could hear the obvious sarcasm and disrespect in his voice as he folded the letter.

"Where are they at, skill wise?" She kept her level tone, goodness knew how she wanted to box him around the ears... with a knife.

"Everyone is doing well. The new recruits are coming along nicely, although hands-on experience would suffice well."

_What are you suggesting? _She almost said it out loud. "Then I suppose Erebor would be a good training regimen for them." She raised her eyebrow only slightly, as if challenging him to go against her.

He held her gaze for a few moments before looking back down at his table and picking up the letter in his hands. "Whatever you say, my lady." He sneered again. "Now, I have business to attend to." She barely heard the sentence before she turned and sauntered out the door.

Her mind was still unmade. She was sure her forces would withstand, and she could leave at least a quarter of her men here to defend the fortress, but she was unsure of whether it was wise to join forces with Thorin Oakenshield once more. As much as she hated to admit it, she could see how it would be a wise move to become an ally of Erebor and become captain of his army but she doubted her strength of will. Thorin Oakenshield was not an easy man to work with, because of his stubbornness and almost silly proudness.

"I need more time." She muttered to herself as she quickly made her way out of the barracks, further away from her insufferable second in command and into her room.


	3. Chapter 3

A few days had passed and Elysian was still unsure of what her decision would be. Dellian was not helping, as he seemed to be suspiciously advocating her potential departure to Erebor. But her mind was telling her it was a wise decision that she should take advantage of the offer, and her heart was telling her to steer clear.

_I must put all personal emotions aside. _She had repeated that firmly to herself over the course of the fourth day since his arrival. _This is business. My opinion matters not._

There sat on her desk an unfinished letter which only held the words _To_ _Thorin Oakenshield _on it. She found herself constantly coming back to sit at the desk and stare at the letter blankly, as if she knew what she had to write but couldn't bring the pen to paper. But she couldn't figure out what she was going to do.

"I don't like this one bit," Elysian muttered, slamming her fist onto the table. She was not used to being so unsure of her own motives, and it put her off a bit. But she would have to make up her mind soon, or there was sure to be disaster. Because when Oakenshield got impatient, all hell would break loose.

**x**

"Thorin, there's a letter here for you."

The dwarf King was pulled out of his thoughts by Dwalin coming to the throne with a sealed letter in his hand. "Here. The messenger was from the Grey Mountains." He notified Thorin.

His eyes took on a different, less grumpy light. "Thank you." He took it out of his hands, feeling his spirits rise a tiny bit. He had been waiting with bated breath on Elysian's reply.

Without delay he ripped off the seal and drew the letter from inside the envelope.

_Thorin Oakenshield,_

_I have decided to accept your proposal. I am assuming that the stay will be for an extended period of time, so I will have 135 men stationed in your army and 74 men staying at Fanthorpe to defend my keep. Of course, I will be going back once every month to check up on things and switch some soldiers out. I will be arriving with my garrison in one day, by the time this letter reaches you._

_Regards,_

_Elysian Ascot._

Immediately Thorin stood and faced Dwalin who was still standing before the throne. "Go to the barracks and notify my men that we have a captain. No doubt the others will find out swiftly." By 'the others' he meant his former Company members. Dwalin nodded, giving him a curious glance before hurrying away to do as Thorin ordered.

He found the silent stone halls to be very pleasant, and he relished the silence and time alone. It was not an arduous or lengthy task, as he found a room almost immediately down the second hallway, the hall right next to his own quarters. He looked inside and saw how sparse it was, with only a bed and an empty bookshelf. He made a mental note to get her a table and some chairs or something. Whatever women liked. He was not very advanced in the ways of catering to (some of) women's tastes when it came to bedroom decor.

Thorin closed the door again and retreated to his own quarters. He sat down at his table, finding the strength to continue on with the endless papers on his desk. Absentmindedly he sorted the things he didn't need to pay attention to (a.k.a the useless offers that would only lead to Erebor's riches getting scammed) and the reports from his legions in the southern lands.

Finally, after two hours of work, he had finished reading the reports and sending off replies and orders. Now all he had to do was wait for Elysian to arrive, then they could start doing some serious work.

**x**

"Halt!" Elysian commanded. The ruins of Lake-town lay before them, and she felt a chill run down her spine. She never liked seeing the burnt ruins made by dragonfire, or any other fire. She never had, ever. She took a few moments to calm her nerves before gazing back at the burnt town. "This place bears too many burdens," she murmured to no one. Her voice rose again. "Forward! Erebor isn't far now."

The clattering of horse's hooves was the only thing heard as they rode on towards the Lonely Mountain.

She was beginning to regret the decision, but she had come too far to turn back, in more ways than one. She was afraid her heart would betray her again, and last time, that turned into absolute chaos. She was still surprised that Thorin harboured the nerve to ask what he did, but as she had decided, her personal opinions did not matter.

Within minutes they came to the gates of Erebor. She looked up, expecting to see whoever was guarding the entrance. But instead the stone doors opened, as if they were expected. Elysian frowned and motioned for everyone to dismount their steeds. As Elysian swung her legs off her pure black horse, an unidentifiable shape came dashing towards her and trapped her in an embrace.

"Uh-" She began, her surprise obvious in her voice, when she noticed who it was. Immediately she grinned and returned the tight embrace. "Tauriel! It's so good to see you!"

The brunette she-elf just laughed happily, hugging the significantly smaller woman joyfully. "I have missed you very much," she murmured. "It has been too long."

The embrace broke and the two smiled at each other. "You'll have to tell me all of the details with you and Kili." A cheeky grin graced Elysian's features. "I'm dying to hear about it." Tauriel smiled sheepishly, giving a small nod.

"Of course." Tauriel turned as two more people walked out of the gates. Elysian immediately straightened when she identified the two as Kili and Thorin Oakenshield.

"Oakenshield." She greeted somewhat icily and formally.

"Brr, it's chilly out here!" Kili joked, sensing the discomfort. He casually walked up to Tauriel and wrapped an arm around her waist. It looked a tiny bit strange, as he was significantly shorter than her, but Elysian still felt her heart melt at how adorable they were.

"He is right." Thorin remarked quietly in that voice that still, even then, sent a small shiver down her spine. "If we are going to be working together then a cordial relationship is required."

"Of course." Elysian crossed her arms. "Now, show me to where my men and I will be crashing."

Kili gave a nod, releasing Tauriel. "I'll take your soldiers to the barracks." He leant up to plant a small kiss on Tauriel's cheek before beckoning for the men to follow him. There was an immediate stampede and the three remaining people moved to the side to allow passage.

Once they had passed, there was a moment of silence before Thorin spoke up. "Come on, then. I will show you your quarters." He turned on his heel and began walking away without waiting for an answer. Tauriel shot Elysian a slightly sympathetic glance as the shorter woman raced after him.

She noticed with irritation that she was still only a tiny bit taller than him. _Damn it. _She blamed her human mother for that one. She found herself staring at the back of his head as he walked down the stone corridors wordlessly. She found the silence somewhat awkward on her part.

The two turned down a hall to the left and Thorin stopped in front of a door. "Here." He said monotonously before turning and walking back the way he came. Their eyes didn't meet once, and Elysian frowned. _What a hypocrite. _She shook her head softly and opened the door. The room was well furnished, with a large bed, bookshelf and a table large enough to accomodate all of her plans and reports.

Elysian closed the door behind her, the frown disappearing from her face. She went and sat on the edge of the bed, relishing the comfort. She and her men had been riding for three days straight and that tended to be exhausting. Elysian fell back and hit the mattress. The fur covers were very warm and comfortable. A small smile graced her lips as she closed her eyes.

A few minutes later, there was a knocking on her door. "Elysian?" She recognized Tauriel's voice, and sat up.

"Come in, Tauriel." She replied, and the brown haired elf opened the door, entering the room.

"It is rather nice in here," Tauriel remarked. "Seems the King did it up specially for you."

Elysian scoffed. "Yeah, right. I wouldn't be surprised if he gave me a pig pen as my room."

Tauriel gave a soft, melancholic smile. "Thorin was not fond of me when I arrived, but he's getting better as time goes on. You'll see, it'll be the same for you."

Elysian smiled back at Tauriel in the same manner. "I missed you, _mellonin_. I'm so glad we get to spend more time together."

The taller elf came and sat beside Elysian on the bed. "I've missed you more." The two sat there in a comfortable silence until Kili came to retrieve Tauriel for guard duty.

As soon as the door closed behind Tauriel, Elysian sighed. _Like Thorin is ever going to come to terms with me, damn it all. _She flopped down onto the bed again and within a few minutes, she was sleeping soundly.

**x**

Thorin opened as much space between him and Elysian as possible as he made his way back to the throne room. Inwardly, he was scolding himself for being so childish about it all the way.

"You're going to need to get used to it if she is to be the captain."

Thorin turned to see Balin behind him. He inhaled deeply.

"I know." Thorin turned back and kept walking towards the throne room. He reminded himself to speak with her once she was accomodated and settled in.

_Mahal damn it. _He all but flopped onto the throne, feeling drained despite how he had been lazing around all day. _I can't believe this damned woman is reducing me to this, even after fifteen years. _He shook his head as if shaking away the thought, reminding himself strictly that his opinion didn't matter. He was only working with her to further his own rule across Middle-earth. _Nothing more._


	4. Chapter 4

**PoV problems: fixed. Using the replace tool can get kinda tricky when it comes to changing PoV.**

**x elysian x**

"Where's Oakenshield?" After her powernap, Elysian felt as refreshed as she had been before she left. She strolled out into the throne room, expecting to see "His Royal Highness" lounging on his throne, doing nothing at all to contribute to his supposed master plan to make his army the best in Middle-earth. But to her surprise, he was nowhere to be found.

"In his quarters, as far as I know." Bofur answered. He was sitting at the long oaken table with Gloin and Bombur, having a pint. "He's been in there for at least an hour now."

"Alright. Would one of you show me where that is?" She requested, surveying each of them. Bofur stood and walked past her.

"This way." He walked down the same hallway she had come down a few moments earlier. She followed him and instead of turning left, which was the way to her room, he kept going straight. She saw a door up ahead.

"Is that it?" She asked. Bofur nodded and stopped, gesturing for her to go on. She gave him a thankful smile and made her way towards Thorin's door.

She hesitated a moment, her fist hovering over the door, before she knocked twice.

"Who is it?" Thorin's low voice sounded bland and tired. She inhaled deeply.

"It's me. Can I come in?" She asked as politely as she could muster. She heard him take a deep breath before answering.

"Enter." She opened the door and closed it softly. She straightened her posture and clasped her hands.

"So," she said, a somewhat awkward tone in her voice. "We, uh, have some work to do."

An immediate frown came to her face when she saw his lips curve upwards only the slightest little fraction. "What, Oakenshield?" The ice cold edge returned to her voice and she threw daggers with her eyes.

"Not quite the collected woman you make yourself out to be, are you?" He remarked smugly. She inhaled deeply, trying desperately to stifle her urges to cut off his penis.

'Listen, Thorin." She approached his desk and splayed her hands out on his table. "I am trying my very hardest to put whatever happened behind us and keep this completely business. I expect you to do the same."

Thorin met her eyes with that damned neutral gaze of his. As much as she hated to admit it, she still found him attractive. With his intense blue eyes and the long brown locks of hair that reached down to his hips. Before she even realized she was staring, her eyes were raking up and down his form.

"You always did used to stare, Elysian." He murmured, his eyes narrowing slightly. She shot upright, her hands flying off the table.

"You- Argh! You're an unbelievable man- no, dwarf- ugh, I don't care!" _Gods damn it!_He always knew how to reduce her, a war hero and captain of two different armies, to a stammering mess. She ran a hand through her jet black hair, spinning away from him. "Alright." She took a deep breath, calming myself down. She turned back to him, clasping her hands again.

"I think you should just shut up, and keep this damn conversation about business." She said, a calm smile on her face. "Now. I need some information about your forces. How well are they trained, how many-"

"But what if I don't want to keep it about business?" He interrupted quietly, his rich voice sending a small shiver down her spine. He got to his feet, planting his hands on the table and leaning towards her. She found herself recoiling, stepping back and to her dismay hitting the wall.

"I already told you, business only." She struggled to keep her voice steady. He chuckled, his voice taking on a slightly wicked tone. He sat down in his seat again, his eyes alight with sick amusement.

_Damned dwarf was only joking!_She gifted him many unholy nicknames in her mind before hesitantly stepping back towards him. _It is never like him to joke. What the hell is going on?_

"Alright, enough." Thorin's face went steely again and she almost rolled her eyes at his lightning fast change in attitude. "My forces are trained to the best of our resources. All except our new recruits of course."

"And how many said new recruits are there at this point in time?" She queried.

"I am not sure of the exact number. As far as I know, around thirty."

"Alright. Well enough. I will assign four new recruits to one fully fledged soldier for training, and I will personally oversee their progress." She was glad one thing was cleared up. "Do we have a target for an attack, or shall we wait for enemies to come?"

"If we find an orc stronghold, we will attack." Thorin's blue eyes hardened. _Of course. The Pale Orc ended the life of Thrain and Thror, and almost killed Thorin._The dwarf before her was never fond of orcs. "However, if Thranduil decides to try us again then he will meet our blades."

"Not really making things clear to me here, Oakenshield. Are we attacking somewhere in the near future or biding our time?"

"As I mentioned. If we come across an orc stronghold, which is more than likely, it will burn. Other than that, we will not be attacking. Yet."

"Fair enough." She gave a curt nod and continued. "Shall I modify the patrols around the lake and the mountain?"

"If you see fit."

She nodded again. "Alright. I will leave you in peace now." She turned and began walking out of his quarters when she stopped and looked over her shoulder. "Oh, and one more thing. I took a look at your maps and saw there were no men positioned in Enedwaith. Shall I send a group of around fifteen men out to scout?"

"Oh. Of course." Thorin waved her off. "Now leave me. I will speak with you some other time." She bowed her head slightly and closed the door behind me.

**x**

After dinner, she hurried back to her room and locked the oaken door behind her. She could feel the exhaustion that had been creeping in on her conscience for the whole afternoon start coming on full bore at the sight of her comfortable bed. But she couldn't sleep, no matter how much she wanted to. She sighed and all but fell into the chair behind her table, the side of her head resting on the wooden surface. She allowed her eyes to close for a blissful few minutes, hoping to regain some of her strength to finish tonight's work.

When she opened her eyes again and lifted her head off the table, she was more than slightly irritated to find it hadn't helped. In front of her there was a piece of blank parchment and a pen in her hand, ready to be writing reports and orders and whatnot.

However, just as the pen was about to touch the page, her door burst open with a slam. She jumped to her feet, her hands fumbling for her daggers. But then she saw who the intruder was.

His long, dark hair fell down to his waist and his deep blue eyes bore into mine intensely. She found her mouth hanging wide open, not only at his intrusion but how she had suddenly become aware of how he was a paragon of male beauty, even with his clothes on. His eyes blazed with an emotion she knew well but didn't want to identify.

Before she knew what was happening, he was approaching her quickly. She retreated a step quickly, thanking her good reflexes and cursing the wall she had just backed into. He came onto her quickly, his arms shooting out to the wall, successfully blocking any escape. She shrank back and away from him, hating how the look in his eyes intimidated her more than it should have.

"Oakenshield, what the fuck are you doing in my room?"

"This is my kingdom. I go wherever I please." His deep, rich voice was threateningly quiet. It sent shivers down her spine, just as it had years ago. She found her eyes meeting his fierce blue orbs and she bit her lip.

"You didn't answer her question." She reiterated, hoping her voice was stronger than she felt. "I locked her door for a reason."

He fished into his pocket and brought out a single key. "Did you not think I would have access to every room at my disposal?" Thorin put the key back in his pocket and his hand returned to its position on the wall.

"Will you please leave?" She implored. "I have work to do, and-"

"Forget the work." His voice was rough with need and slight desperation. Suddenly the space between our lips closed and she felt a rush of adrenaline lance through her body. She found herself immediately responding, without even thinking. My arms wrapped around his neck, desperately trying to bring us closer together, if that was even possible. His hands went to her waist, gripping her tightly. The desperation and frustration between us was palpable.

She had to break away for air. She pulled her lips away from his, inhaling deeply. Before she could say anything, Thorin beat her to it.

"Mahal damn it all, woman." He muttered, his eyes meeting mine. "You're driving me insane."

"I could say the same to you." She retorted, her breath only just returning.

There was silence. We both knew what kind of insane we were meaning, and it was bringing back all kinds of unwanted memories.

"Thorin..." she mumbled, finding the words to describe her feelings to him. "I..."

"Gah!" My head shot up from the table with a jolt. She felt like her head was filled with jelly and it was making her dizzy. My hand shot to her forehead, trying to soothe her thumping head.

_That was disturbing._ She screwed up her nose. _As if I would ever try that again with him. _An unwanted flash of pain washed over her and she shook her head as if to ward it off.

"No." She said aloud. "I have work to do." As the pen found its way into her hand again, she couldn't help but wonder if she was disappointed that it was only a dream or not. She couldn't figure it out, and that was going to provide problems.

A _lot _of problems.

**Oops, cliche/10.**


	5. Chapter 5

**x elysian x**

The dream was still haunting her mind a week later. She swung her legs out of bed, feeling a familiar sinking feeling in her chest. _Another day that I have to face. _She inhaled deeply and pulled on a robe over her underclothes. She would bother to get into her armor later. She exited her room and had barely made her way down the stone halls when she heard a familiar voice.

"Elysian."

She turned to see Thorin Oakenshield standing outside his room. "Good morning." She greeted politely and a touch icily.

"Our men have found an Orc stronghold," he told her bluntly. "We are leaving Dwalin and Balin in charge while we go off with reinforcements."

"... Alright." What a fine good morning. "Where is this stronghold located?"

"In the Brown Lands. It will take a good week to ride there." Thorin began walking towards her and she felt a rush of horror as the events from her dream came rushing through her mind again. But he simply walked past her. "Be ready in an hour. We must leave as soon as possible."

She gave a short nod. "Right." She turned and went back the way she came. My black leather armor was sitting beside her bed in a crumpled heap. She picked it up off the floor and after taking off her robe she began buckling up the armor.

After that was done, she clipped her sheathes to her cuirass and slid her daggers in. My bow and quiver quickly followed. She grabbed her pack, turned and exited her room, making her way out to the kitchen. She grabbed a loaf of bread to sate her appetite for the day. Just as she started filling her pack with supplies, Thorin entered the kitchen.

"We have thirty men setting off this instant," he told her, his tone business-like. "They will be arriving before us."

"Alright," she mumbled, sifting through the cupboards for some food. "Have you got your supplies?"

"Last time I checked, it was not your place to be worrying about her."

"We're going to be travelling and working together for a long time," she insisted. "So swallow your pride."

She didn't bother to meet his eyes as she walked past him to a pantry situated behind him.

She piled her pack with all kinds of supplies, with enough room for other essentials. There was silence in the room, but she knew he was still there watching her. Thorin had always done that.

She tied the pack up and slung it over her shoulders. "I'll see you at the front gates in an hour," she told him icily as she retreated from the room.

She turned right upon exiting the kitchen and started walking towards the store rooms. There were three in total, all filled to the brim with all kinds of items. She entered the second one and started searching for supplies amongst the abundance of items.

Five minutes later, her pack had the additions of rope, flint and steel, a roll of bandage and a special Elvish medicine gifted to her by Elrond. There was only one more thing she needed.

She found her way back to her quarters, and she delved into the top drawer in her bedside table. She fumbled around inside until her fingers closed around a very fine metallic chain. She pulled it out to reveal her most valued possession: a locket gifted to her by her mother.

She traced it fondly with her fingers, smiling softly. She opened the locket, finding the two pictures inside: a picture of her Elvish father and her human mother, and a picture that she never wanted to look at again, but she couldn't bear to take out.

She snapped the locket shut before her eyes sought out the said small picture. She placed it in her pack and secured it shut. She was ready to go, but had another forty five minutes to kill.

She walked out of her room, closing the door behind her. She strolled out to the dining room, looking around upon her entry. "Anyone seen Tauriel?" She asked.

"She's with Kili, out in the training rooms." Came the reply from Fili.

She gave a nod, smiling. "Thank you." She turned and walked back the way she came, and took a right where she would have gone left to go to her room. She opened the door at the end of the corridor and it opened to a private indoor courtyard filled with targets, dummies and whatnot. She surveyed the courtyard with her eyes, searching for two familiar faces.

Laughter from the far end of the corridor caught her attention, and she began walking there. Of course, there were her two best friends, sitting on a stone bench at the very end.

She smiled and approached them. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Not at all," Kili smiled, his brown eyes friendly.

"We're just having a chat." Tauriel added, her hand entwined with Kili's. "I take it you're here for company?"

"Yeah." She said, blowing a piece of hair out of her face and rolling her eyes. "You have _no _idea how relieved I am to know there is at least two friendly faces around here. I'm stuck with seeing Thorin's grumpy face all the time."

"He doesn't hate you," Kili told her. "He is a naturally grumpy man. You get used to it, but I guess it isn't so easy for you."

"Mmm." She shook her head, biting her lip. "I swear, he brought her back here just to terrorize her for however many years this lasts."

Tauriel gave a small huff of laughter. "No, he wouldn't do that. He's looking out for his people, as he has been doing for years. You're a valuable asset, and he can see that."

She didn't know how to respond, so she just shrugged.

"Anyway, onto other news." Tauriel's eyes began to twinkle happily. "Kili, can I tell her?"

"I don't see why not," he shrugged.

Tauriel squeezed his hand tighter and looked back at her. "I'm expecting a child."

"Awww!" She was reduced to a squealing teenager again as she clasped her free hand and grinned like an idiot. "Have you got any names planned? Since when? Oh, this is so exciting!"

"Well, if it's a girl, we're thinking of calling her Elleiana." Tauriel's eyes shone. "We're not sure of a name for a boy yet. I'm letting Kili decide."

"Elleiana?" She repeated, a goofy smile still on her face. "That's beautiful!"

"Isn't it?" Kili seemed just as happy as Tauriel and Elysian. "Just like his or her mother."

Tauriel's grin turned to a smirk. "You're such a flirt."

"But you love it." He responded with a kiss on the cheek.

"Well," she interrupted, feeling a tiny bit out of place. "I have to get going, going into the Brown Lands to an Orc stronghold. I'm leaving in a little while, so... Thanks for the chat!" She gave them both a hug. "Congratulations on the kid."

"Have fun," Tauriel smiled and hugged her back.

"Ugh, I'm sure I will." She deadpanned. "Great, travelling alone with Thorin for one week. Fun."

Kili chuckled. "Oh, you enjoy yourself."

She released them and made her way towards the exit. "Bye!" She waved at them over her shoulder as she left the training courtyard.

**x**

For the first few minutes Thorin and Elysian rode in absolute silence, the only sounds the horses' hooves and the wildlife around them. We passed by Lake-town, the burnt remains still sending shivers down her spine and making her feel ill. She shook her head as if shaking away the memories and faced the front again.

"You alright?" She almost jumped at Thorin's voice. She turned her head towards him and gave a small, somewhat shaky nod.

"... Yeah." She answered simply. She wasn't about to let some memories get in the way of her goals. Never had, never would. She peeked at him out of the corner of her eye, only to find that he was doing the same. My eyes quickly darted away and she avoided looking at either Lake-town or Thorin.

This damned journey was going to be worse than she thought.

**Yeah, it was terrible and it was short. More updates coming soon, I promise!**


	6. Chapter 6

"We will camp here for the night."

It was a relief to hear those words. Sitting on the back of a horse for two days straight without rest brought exhaustion. Not only to the horses but to them as well.

Her, not that much, actually. Her Elvish roots tended to help a bit in that area. Elysian could go for at least three days and only feel a little bit tired. Most of all, her ass hurt. A lot. She needed a rest.

She gave a nod and brought her horse to a halt. She dismounted quickly, swinging her legs off with ease. She immediately took her horse's reins in her hands, leading her to a tree where she could tie her up for the night. Wordlessly she tied the leathers in a knot and turned back.

"I'll have the first watch." She informed Thorin. He shook his head as he tied his horse to a different tree.

"No. You get some rest, I'll have the first watch."

She huffed, planting her hands on her hips. "Oakenshield, it is obvious that you're exhausted. I'm not. Just sleep. I'll wake you in a few hours time."

His eyes met mine in a battle of wills. Her gaze hardened and he sighed softly, pulling his deep blue gaze away from mine.

"Very well." He turned away from her and lowered to the ground, propping himself up against a tree. "Don't light a fire. We don't want to draw the attention of any unwanted creatures."

Elysian gave a nod. "Of course." She slid her pack off her shoulders and turned away. "I'm just going to be in this clearing here, alright?" She didn't wait around to hear his answer as she made her way through the undergrowth into the clearing, bow in hand.

She emerged into a gorgeous small clearing. Green foliage was everywhere, literally. Fresh green grass below her feet, ferns, flowers and trees. A soft smile came to her face. It reminded her of some of the happier times in her childhood.

Attaching her bow back to its place on her back, she simply strolled around the clearing slowly, her fingers tracing the leaves and blossoms as she passed. Middle-earth was a lovely place indeed.

Elysian leaned against a thick trunked tree, pulling one of her daggers out of its sheath and running her finger along the flat side of it gently. The gleaming silver shone in the moonlight. She examined the silver blade before aiming and throwing it into a tree across a clearing with ease. It spun and landed perfectly in the centre of the trunk.

She didn't bother to go and retrieve it. She grabbed her bow again and took an arrow out of its quiver, slinging it into place in the string. She drew the string back, aiming for a branch of the same tree she struck with the dagger. She let it fly and with a _thunk_ it landed right in the wood.

She reached up on her tiptoes to retrieve it, then aiming and firing to a different location. This was fun.

She continued throwing daggers and firing arrows at nothing for a good half hour before she decided to return to Thorin. She retrieved her dagger from the tree and slid it into its sheath as she pushed through the undergrowth once more to return to our campsite.

To Elysian's satisfaction the Dwarf-king was soundly asleep. His head was slanting to the side, his cheek resting on his shoulder. His face was relieved of the usual guarded expression he wore, and he looked peaceful. She couldn't help but smile sadly as a flood of emotions exploded inside her stomach. He looked happy. Something she hadn't seen in him for years.

She quietly kneeled beside him, knowing how he slept with an eye open. A single sound would wake him. Without really thinking, she traced her fingers along his defined cheekbones. Her fingers ghosted upon his battleworn skin. A fine scar lay on his cheek, most likely a kiss from an Orcish dagger. Her fingers found their way to his hair. His hair that she often got jealous about. The long, brown locks that lay in waves down his shoulders and back. Her fingers travelled lightly across his skin to his lips. She let out a soft sigh. So many memories. She traced his lips with her thumb, so lightly that he wouldn't wake. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting the nostalgia pass.

Suddenly a strong hand clamped around her wrist. Elysian was being pushed back, and she hit the mossy ground so quickly that she couldn't blink. Her eyes went wide and she tried to struggle against his two hands that were now clamped around her wrists. Her widened eyes met his. Gods, he was furious. His blue orbs shone with fury and another emotion she didn't want to place.

"What do you think you're doing?" His voice was so quiet. Quieter than it was in her dream, and that was terrifying. It made her mind whirl at all of the possible ways he could murder her at that moment, and she took a shaky breath.

"You- There was, uhh, a bug." She mumbled. He knew she was lying, and so did she. He didn't even bother to address the fact.

"You're so frustrating!" His voice was furious. "You walk around my damned halls like you're the queen, and you being around is bringing back things I promised to never think of again! You're ruining my chances of actually being successful as King!"

"You were the one who brought me there!" She found her voice becoming less shaky as her anxiety was replaced by indignance. "How dare you blame her for something that you brought upon yourself? We both promised to not let our emotions get in the way of-"

"That's easier for you than it ever was for me. That hasn't changed!" His face was in extremely close and dangerous proximity to mine. "I... My emotions have passed." Thorin's rich voice grew quiet again. "However, my anger has not. I think it's time you-"

"You think it's time I what?" Elysian interrupted. "Get over myself? Get over my emotions? Get over my trauma? I say you grow a pair, Oakenshield. It's not easy to forget a burning village, a burning home! A burning family!" To her mortification and irritation, her voice cracked. "My father's last wish was for me to become what he was not! The captain of the strongest army in all of Middle-earth. He gave all that up for my mother, for his love for her. I'm not about to make the same mistake as he did."

He loosened his grip on her, sitting back. "Damn it, Elysian. You've never stopped being a nuisance... not even now. You will never understand her suffering, the things I have to put aside for the sake of business."

"I bet you I do," She challenged, choosing to ignore the fact that her voice was choked up. "Try her."

Thorin suddenly turned on her again, his hands clamping down on her wrists. "Like the stress," he hissed. "And the constant feeling of... of frustration. That's because of you. You are the one who is bringing these to me. I think you should-"

Suddenly there was the sound of an horn in the distance. Thorin shot upright, immediately releasing his vice-like grip on her. Thundering footsteps, or hoofsteps, resonated throughout the otherwise silent air and she leapt to her feet, fumbling for her bow.

"Orcs!" She exclaimed, quickly slinging an arrow into place but not drawing back the string. "Come on!"

Thorin shot to his feet, unsheathing his Elvish blade. Elysian raced off into the undergrowth towards the unmistakeable sounds of Orcish battle cries. There was no way to tell how many there were, but she knew for sure that they were not far away. The adrenaline and rush of battle was already pulsing through her blood.

We burst out into a wide open field where Orcs were clashing with another race that were identifiable even from across the field.

"Elves." Thorin spat, tensing up beside her. "We shouldn't-"

"I don't care. Let's go!" She drew back the arrow that was already in place, and aimed for a good few moments, getting a clear shot, and sent the arrow flying straight into the neck of one of the orcs. This drew the attention of some members of both parties and before they could blink, another arrow was in place. She fired again, this time into an orc's knee. It crumpled to the ground, howling as it tried desperately to dislodge the arrow. It had no time before an elvish blade slashed it's head clean off.

Thorin was already racing towards the battle, his large sword in hand, and she raced after him, firing arrow after arrow at her quiver's peril. She reminded herself to retrieve them later. She slotted her bow back into place and drew her daggers, dashing in towards the bloodshed.

What happened next was a blur. All she could remember was plunging her knives into throats, cutting off Orcish heads and searching wildly for a head of brown hair in the battlefield.

The rush of battle pulsed through her body. Her head was whirling and her heart was racing. She felt no fear of death. Her blood felt as if it was on fire, but the burn didn't hurt. It felt as if the blades of the Orcs couldn't pierce her skin, and she was untouchable.

A familiar face brought her whirling mind and daggers to a halt.

He was standing high upon a rock which towered over the battle, and he was surrounded by his right-hand men. The coward was avoiding battle at all costs. She stood there, her body trembling with rage. The damned creature was an Orcish warlord. One that she swore she would kill next she saw him. _No... No! I will not, cannot let him live! _Her vision went red and she began to run. She shoved her way through Orcs and Elves alike, the only difference being that the Orcs received a dagger to the throat on her way past.

Elysian realized there was no way to reach him. Lubrúk was still a good fifty metres away and there was no way she would reach him. But she was not about to give up. She swore to herself that she would never. She turned and slunk away from the battle, swiftly dashing about ten metres out. She kept an eye out for any approaching foes as she brought her bow from her back and plucked an arrow out of her quiver.

Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. She slid the arrow into place, pulling the string back. Her eyes became fully focused on the target. The smug orc was roaring a battle cry, his mauled, ugly face distorted in bloodthirsty glee.

"For my nosse." Elysian hissed, blind fury making her mind blurry. She was about to release the arrow when a sudden force came crashing into her. She swore out loud. It was a mistake to have taken her eyes off the battlefield. Her attacker and she landed on the ground very forcefully and the wind was knocked out of her at the orc's heavy weight on her.

Elysian tried to reach back and grab her daggers when the one of the ugly orc's hand clamped around both of her wrists. Her bow had been thrown out of her hands by the impact and was lying a few feet away. "Shit." She muttered.

Her attacker had a big, ugly knife in his unoccupied hand, and it was pressed dangerously against her throat. She felt her skin split as the blade drew a tiny bit of blood. She felt a rush of horror as she realized that these could be the last moments of her life.

She had no fear of death. But she wanted to have taken the life of the Orc that ruined her life first. And she especially would have wanted to come to terms with Thorin. If she died, then those important deeds would never be done. And she would die believing that Thorin Oakenshield hated her.

But not that day. As the Orc raised his arm and hissed some curse in orcish before he plunged the knife into her throat, there was a terrible gargling sound which abruptly cut off his insult. His eyes went wide and filled with shock. It was then that she noticed the tip of a blade protruding from his chest. She struggled to peer over him at the person who had saved her, when her attacker was abruptly yanked off her and the blade that was just in his chest was dragged across his neck, splitting it open. She narrowly avoided being sprayed by blood as the lifeless body was dropped to the ground.

Her gaze was blurry. Large hands clasped her own and pulled her to her feet. Her eyes met with his deep blue ones, only for him to look away immediately. The sounds of battle were fading, and the fight was ending. But she didn't care.

For the second time that day, a tear rolled down her cheek. And another. And another. Soon a waterfall of furious tears were pouring down her cheeks as she realized that the Orcish scum had escaped with his life. And she was to blame.

Her hands slid away from whoever had saved her and Elysian crumpled to the floor, rage clouding her vision. She wasn't sad, or in immense pain. No, she was fucking mad. She clasped onto his arm again, looking up to face them.

It was Thorin Oakenshield. Thorin Oakenshield saved her life.

"Thorin..." She mumbled. He simply nodded, letting her clasp his arm desperately. Her eyes turned back to the empty field.

"I... couldn't kill him." She mumbled again, looking down at the ground. "I-I had to... but I couldn't..."

"He lives, only to die another day." His unoccupied hand came to rest on her shoulder. "I promise you that."

Thorin took his hands away from her and turned away. She was left there sitting alone again. Elysian clambered to her feet again, staring blankly at the empty battlefield. Dead Elves and Orcs alike lay around, a reminder of the bloodshed. There was blurred conversation going on behind her. But she didn't care. She had let that damned Orcish scum escape.

In her rage, her foot collided with a decapitated head laying by her feet, sending it flying across the field. She screamed in absolute fury. Lubrúk needed to pay for what he'd done. And she had failed in doing so.

"Elysian!" A blurry voice broke through the mist of her rage and she turned, her vision clearing slightly. _"Ci maer, mellon?" (Are you alright, friend?)_

Elysian recognized him immediately. "Legolas..." Her voice sounded groggy and too well used. _"Û..." (No...)_

Her Elvish friend gave a slow nod, understanding her position. He decided not to say any more about it. "Dwarf, we would have you captured, were it not for Elysian." He turned back to Thorin, a slightly disgusted and nasty tone in his voice. "So be grateful, and move on before her father catches wind of this."

She gave a slow nod. "Yes. Thank you for your kindness. Unfortunately we cannot stay for long."

"Yes, I can see that." His intense blue eyes darted from Thorin to her again.He came forward, clasping her hands inside his. _"Novaer, mellonin. Galu." (Farewell, her friend. Blessings.)_

_"Novaer. Galu!" (Farewell. Blessings!) _She answered, managing a small smile for him.

With a simple hand gesture, Legolas and his men turned and continued back to wherever they came from, leaving Thorin and her alone.

There was silence for a good few minutes as we stood there, just staring at the battlefield. She retrieved her bow from its position. Then he broke the silence.

"Are you injured?"

His rough, low voice was so comforting to her. She turned her gaze to him and nodded.

"Got a few nice scars here and there. It's nothing." She answered quietly. Her hand flew to the dried droplet of blood on her neck. It reminded her of how close she had come to death.

"Mmm." He mumbled, turning away in the direction of our camping site. She took a step to follow him, when he asked, "Elysian, are you alright?"

His voice was surprisingly soft. It didn't sound as rough and guarded as it usually did, and it took her by surprise.

"... I'll be okay." Never had she told a bigger lie in her life. He turned his head to look at her over his shoulder, his eyebrow raised. He knew that line well, and knew that it wasn't true in the slightest.

"We will get revenge." He rumbled. His voice took on his rough tone again. "I mean, you will."

"I know." She said quietly. We started walking back to the campsite.

We walked in silence for a few minutes. Her eyes were glued to his back and she found herself remembering what happened before the battle. It seemed he was, also.

When we came back to camp, he turned and gave her a pointing look. "We have some things to talk about." His voice was low, and she gave a nod.

"Yeah, we do." As Elysian settled down to rest, she couldn't get the events of the day off her mind. Little did she know, there was worse to come.

As you can see, Legolas is still in Mirkwood. I made the mistake of writing this chapter before BOTFA, and now I can't find a proper substitute so he's going to leave to find Aragorn later in the story.


	7. Chapter 7

The next day was a near disaster. Elysian woke just after dawn, and she had expected Thorin to be sleeping also. But he was sitting there, leaning against the tree to her left, and his intense, dark blue eyes were trained on her. She mumbled something incoherent and her eyes opened to meet his. Instantly he recoiled, as if she had thrown something at him, and he climbed to his feet.

"Come on. We have lots of ground to cover today." Thorin refused to meet her eyes as he retrieved his pack and began untying his horse.

She gave a slow nod, her mind still processing the fact that she was awake. She groggily climbed to her feet, fumbling for her pack and slinging it over her shoulders. she surveyed the ground for any of her belongings she had left around, and after deciding that she hadn't forgotten anything, she set to untying the coil of rope securing her horse to the tree.

There were too many words left unspoken between them, and she was sure they both had words on their tongues, just ready to be said. She, for one, couldn't find the words to say. But she knew there was something.

Elysian swung herself up onto her horse, mounting it with ease. Hesitantly her eyes met Thorin's. "You ready?"

"Yes." That simple word said so much. Yet it was said so blandly, so emotionlessly. At the same time, it was filled with emotion, and she wanted to answer. But she kept her mouth shut as they made our way onto the path and out of the forest.

She was still unsure as of what the hell happened between they the day before. They both knew exactly what he meant, but she didn't want to face it. She inhaled deeply. It was obvious to her that she would have a lot of thinking time to herself today, with the way Thorin was acting. If she knew him, he would be imagining all of the possible ways to continue yesterday's conversation and he would be trying to say it, but just couldn't. And she knew him well.

_What did he mean, exactly?_ She bit the inside of her cheek nervously, worrying the soft flesh. Of course, she knew. She wanted to trick herself into thinking she didn't know what he wanted out of her.

_I would just be his stress relief. A woman to relieve his desires and worries. _She thought wryly._ Not anything more. _What a way to dampen the spirits more than possible_. Of course there would be no emotion involved. I would be a fool to think there was._

After all, Thorin Oakenshield would've never pledged himself to her again.

They first met twenty years after Smaug took Erebor. It was before she returned to her parents again, and she was travelling alone.

He met her in a small town on the edge of the Misty Mountains. He was there under an alias, a disguise. she was very young, oh so young. How she came to realize he was the former Prince of Erebor is a story for another day.

After their encounter in that small town, she followed him, unknown to him. At least, for a little while. He was ambushed by Orcs and she leapt in to help fight them off. He received a particularly nasty flesh wound, and he had no healing supplies with him. So she stuck around and patched him up.

They became quite well acquainted during that time. He was a young man at that time, the same age as her (although he didn't look so young like she did). And after that, she developed feelings that were more than what friends should have. She felt horrible about it. There was no way that the Prince of Erebor, who was no doubt introduced to so many women over the years, would ever fall for her. A half-elf, half-human girl who probably looked a hundred years younger than him, even though they were only a few years apart.

So she locked her feelings away. They travelled around together for a few years. After that he decided to escort her home, as he had adopted the idea that she was a child and she needed protecting. Of course, she threatened to put a sword in his gullet, but they both were only jesting.

When they were just coming up to the rise before her town, they noticed an unnatural glow surrounding the the village. An unnatural glow they both knew belonged to fire. She unsheated her sword and they raced down to her town. But it was too late.

Lubrúk and his men had already set the town in flames. She remembered the tears welling in her eyes as she fled to her home, and Thorin running after her telling her it was not safe.

She arrived in the once endearing wooden shack that was now in flames, her home. She dashed inside, looking around wildly for her mother and father. she screamed for them. But no answer came.

She fell to her knees, in the middle of the burning cottage, the tears coming down in waterfalls. he couldn't stop wailing. Her family... the family she left behind. Her family she never got to say goodbye to.

She searched frantically, even for a single sign of them. But all she found were bodies. The bodies of her parents.

That's when the shock hit her. Her body went numb and her eyes went wider than the moon. she fell to her knees, her feet unable to support her. she clutched their lifeless forms in her hands, their deathly cold skin feeling like oblivion itself in her hands.

Thorin's hand on her shoulder was what brought her back to reality. She dropped her father's hand and turned her head to him, her eyes filling with tears again. Her fingers closed around Thorin's arm as she held on for dear life. He was her lifeline that day. She pulled herself to her feet and buried her face in his chest. His strong, protective arms wrapped around her and held her while she wept.

They separated not long after that. He promised they would meet again, and he was not wrong. But her heart turned cold. For years, she spent all of her time and resources building her way to the top. Soon enough she was one of the most powerful people in Middle-earth. But all that existed on her mind was her need for revenge on Lubrúk.

As Thorin predicted, they did meet again when Thorin passed through the village Elysian had been living in at the time. How she had grown up to be a strong, capable woman, and she could tell he was impressed by her. He decided to stick around, and he ended up doing blacksmithing work in the village as he had done when they first met. Later that year, Elysian decided she needed to travel and once again feel the freedom of the nomadic lifestyle she'd come to love. Thorin agreed to come with her, and for the next few years, they travelled as they had before. They were happy together.

Perhaps it was just a figment of her imagination, but she felt as if during that time, there was more than friendship between them. She could still remember how tender his eyes were, how genuine his smiles were and how gently he held her from time to time. They even slept together once, which made her really believe he loved her. Which was exactly why they parted with such bitter tidings.

After a particularly exhausting full week with no sleep on Elysian's part, they made a unanimous decision not to go the full distance to a village in fear that she would physically not make it. So they set up camp just under a mile outside of the village. Elysian went to sleep, expecting Thorin to keep watch while she rested. However she was woken two hours later by the familiar snarl of nearby Orcs, and when she frantically whispered Thorin's name, there was no answer.

Lo and behold, the Orcs found her and she couldn't fend them off by herself in the state she was in. She tried to fight in vain, yet one of the Orcs managed to land a heavy blow on her sword arm and she could barely hold her weapon. Thankfully, Thorin came back just in time to kill the rest of the attackers, but not without the smell of alcohol on him and a bruise-like mark on his neck that she did not fail to place.

The next morning, after she'd told him to piss off back to the village and his whore (end quote), she packed up her belongings and left without a trace. He did try to apologise to her, but she wouldn't listen. Her life had been put in danger by his ignorant stupidity, and she intended for him to pay the price. What she didn't realise was that both of them would pay dearly, both at the time and later in life.

"Elysian." His gruff voice tore her from her recollections, and she peered at him out of the corner of her eye. She acknowledged his words with a simple murmur.

His deep voice rumbled quietly within his throat. "We have lots to talk about."

She didn't answer for a few moments. "... Yeah. We do."

It went silent for a few moments, and Elysian bit the inside of her cheek anxiously, wondering where the conversation would lead. Suddenly Thorin brought his horse to an abrupt stop and she almost collided with him. She would have, were it not for her quick reflexes. She stopped my horse also and frowned. "What's-"

"Get off your horse." Thorin refused to turn and face her, but his voice was rough and commanding. Slightly angry, it seemed. Elysian frowned and hesitantly swung her legs around, dismounting the horse in a single movement. As soon as her feet hit the floor, he turned around and approached her faster than she thought he was capable of moving. She only had time to back away one step before he was right in front of her. Unfortunately, she backed straight into a tree. He successfully blocked off any escape for her, coming so close that she could see the flecks of grey in his eyes. The events of her dream came rushing back into her mind.

"I said," he growled. "We have a lot to talk about."

"Better start talking then," she retorted, fearing the stability of her voice. "If you don't, then I suggest you get out of my face."

"You do not give me orders." His dark blue eyes narrowed. "You remember what I said yesterday."

"Which was?"

"You already know, Elysian." Her heart almost stopped when he fiercely grabbed her by the shoulders, and their lips collided ferociously.

_Oh, shit._

**Oops. Another bad ending.**

**(really bad) smut in the next chapter!**


	8. Chapter 8

His lips mashed against hers forcefully and she was irritated about how perfectly they fit together. How perfectly they always had. She was furious thanks to everything about Thorin Oakenshield. She planned to show this anger the same way as he was, which was a damned recipe for disaster if she've ever seen one.

His strong form was pressed heavily against hers, pushing her back into the tree and constricting her movements. Her hands gripped his shirt, almost tearing it with her fingers.

The kiss was hot and angry, to say the least. The fury and frustration being expressed by that kiss was highly palpable, and she wanted to scream and punch him at the same time. But she couldn't tear herself away.

It was almost as if there were some telepathy going on between them. His message was clear; _You are stress relief, and nothing more to me. _And her answer was; _What makes you think you aren't the same?_

Her throat and mouth were burning uncontrollably. Her whole body felt like it was on fire. She tugged him closer to her, convinced she was mauling his shirt to death with her fingernails, and his hands were entangled in her jet black hair, near pulling it out of her scalp.

Elysian grabbed the collar of his shirt, sinking to her feet and yanking him down with her. The furious kiss didn't break as he sank to his knees with her.

She broke away momentarily to take a breath but crashed her lips onto his again immediately after. He seemed slightly surprised by her ferocity and forwardness.

She decided that the shirt was not helpful, and all but ripped it away from his skin. He broke the kiss abruptly, his eyes on fire. "What do you think you're doing?" He growled.

"Excuse me?" She raised an eyebrow as she looped one arm around his neck and trailed the other up his chest.

"You are not in control over me." Thorin's voice sent undeniable shivers throughout her whole body.

"she never knew you were such a control freak." she remarked.

"I'm not," he informed, his rich voice low in tone. "Unless meddling women are involved."

Elysian let out a mirthless laugh. "Uh-huh." Whatever she was about to say next was swallowed up by Thorin's lips on her neck. He still remembered the exact place; where her neck and collarbone connected. She cursed inwardly, realizing he remembered all the old tricks. But so did she.

Thorin bit her neck, not hard enough to draw blood but with enough pressure to hurt. Her hands ghosted over his chest and around to his back. She dug her fingernails into his bare shoulderblades, hoping it elicited the same reaction from him. His body tensed up, and she resisted a triumphant smirk. She knew how he loved it when she dug her fingernails into his back. Obviously, he hated her for it, too, because his teeth bit down harder on her skin. He began to suck relentlessly on that poor, abused piece of skin. What a bother it would be to cover the mark up later. There was bound to be something left afterwards.

His hands began to expertly undo the buckles of her black leather armor, as he had always done it with ease and practice. she pulled her fingernails out of his skin and ran them gently across the forming welts, satisfied to come away with blood on her fingers.

Her cuirass was gone, thrown near a tree to her left. Thorin made quick work of her gauntlets, throwing them on top of her cuirass. Whilst the whole time, she was working on getting rid of those bothersome trousers of his.

His hands were quick and deft in ridding her body of armor. All that remained were her undergarments, and he remained in only his. She came to question myself how it had escalated this quickly. But at that moment in time, she didn't particularly care.

She dug her fingernails into his back again, this time both of her hands were either side of his spine. He grunted, pushing her down onto the forest floor.

"You'll be the death of me, woman." His coarse voice was enough for her to turn to jelly in his arms, but she had just enough willpower left to resist. She took one hand away from his back and trailed it down his muscled chest. Her touch was as light as a feather, only providing a faint feeling upon his skin. How he loved and hated it when she did that. She did it again, but this time, she actually examined his muscled torso and appreciated it. She wasn't too fond of the man, but she could at least appreciate that he was attractive as hell.

He groaned, capturing her wrist in his hand. "Enough. You are making me more impatient."

"You are not a patient man, Thorin Oakenshield." Her voice was dripping with something between sultry sarcasm and mocking. "That was, of course, how I knew you to be before you left me for dead and ran off to get drunk and probably lie with another woman. Whether you have changed or not, I don't-"

"Do not spout that kind of nonsense to me, Elysian." His voice was laced with unadulterated fury, and she smirked. She always knew the right buttons to press to make him mad. "I'll make you regret every word that just came out of that lying mouth of yours. Do you understand?"

"I'll hold you to that promise, Oakenshield." Her voice held the same sultry tone. Her fingers slowly, agonizingly slowly, pulled off his undergarments as he pulled off hers impatiently. She felt as if she had the upper hand, with her patience and smug attitude.

She lost her confidence when he turned her over with a single motion, turning her onto her side. Before she could react, he immediately came behind her, hooking one of her legs over his arm and the other grasping her jaw.

"Ugh." she muttered, her ability to talk limited. "Get your hands off me."

Thorin didn't answer her. His hand moved from her jaw to her hair, gathering it in his hand and jerking her head back so his lips were beside her ear. Shock waves lanced through her body when the tip of his member brushed against her core and a hot shiver went up her spine, making her neck tense up.

"I hate you," she muttered. They both knew her distaste for him was never going to be near being as strong as to call it hate, but she liked to play pretend.

Thorin didn't answer in words. He abruptly pushed inside her, electrifying all of her senses. It was amazing, how after all these years, he could still reduce her to a woman who has never felt the touch of a man. As much as she loathed admitting it, he was the only one who she really enjoyed laying with. He was the only one who actually elicited real pleasure from her.

And that was why she hated how amazing he made her feel.

Every movement was delicious torture. His touch sent heat waves throughout her body. It didn't take him long to reach a heavy pace, pulsing inside her. He directed his member to the one place that made her turn to nothing in his arms, and for that, she disliked him a lot more. His hand still roughly grasped her hair, and the other one held her leg up high to provide deep entrance for him. Every thrust elicited a cry, moan or something along the lines of a cuss word. The tightness in her lower abdomen was ecstasy, but a knife in her back at the same time.

Thorin's lips were only just brushing her ear, and it was torture. He yanked her head back a tiny bit to attract her attention.

"Do you regret it yet?" He murmured, his voice sounding strained and as if he wanted to express so much.

"Do you?" she had the nerve to reply in a breathy moan. He bucked his hips suddenly, making her back and neck cave in. she gasped, feeling as if her eyes had just rolled into the back of her head.

He was incapable of answering. He buried his face in her neck, letting out a growly groan. The coil of delicious tension in her core was growing and growing undeniably fast.

Thorin let out a string of more curse words she'd ever heard him say before. His grip on her hair tightened, and she could barely feel the sensation of her hair being torn out of her scalp. All she could feel was him inside her, and the ridiculously hard thrusts he was giving.

"Thorin, I-" Her voice gave out as she moaned, but he understood. He nodded, his face still buried in her neck. He moaned breathily, his voice muffled by her skin.

Her voice rose higher and higher as she came closer to her summit. Her body was flaming and freezing up at the same time. The feeling was inexplicable. She felt like he was completing her, filling a void she never knew was there. Then her body shattered, and she felt like her entire being was exploding. Earth shattering hardly did it justice; the experience was truly mind blowing.

Her eyes opened wide and her back arched like a bridge. Her core was flaming, and Thorin groaned as she tightened around him, pulling him off the edge with her. His grip on her hair loosened, and she panted heavily as she recovered from her high.

"By the Mahal, Elysian..." He muttered, bringing his face out of the crook of her neck and releasing her immediately.

"You've made me so tired now," she breathed. "But as you said earlier, we have a lot of ground to cover."

"Yes." He sounded reluctant to get back on the road. But she sensed something else in that single word, a few words unspoken.

_Thank you._

For a moment, she truly felt empathy for him. She understood the stress he had to cope with, and suddenly... she felt like she'd willing to take the load off for him.


	9. Chapter 9

x elysian x

The next few hours were extremely uncomfortable as they bestrode their horses and continued on their journey. They seldom spoke, which was obviously fine with Thorin, but it wasn't fine in the least for Elysian. She felt as if all of her unspoken words and feelings were threatening to burst forth and make her look like a fool. It took a good few hours for the ache in her abdomen and the thumping in her head to disappear.

The sun was far below the horizon when they decided to stop for the night. Her brain felt like it was about to explode, and she sighed as they prepared for a good night's rest.

"I'll have the first watch." Thorin's velvet voice made her turn her gaze to him, and his deep blue eyes were trained on her. She found it hard to meet his eyes.

"No, its fine. I'll take it." She said blandly, her voice devoid of any emotion. He opened his mouth to speak again when she gave him a sharp glance over her shoulder. "I said, I'll take it."

He decided it wasn't worth arguing about and he turned his back to her again. "Fine." She didn't face him as she proceeded to secure her horse for the night.

By the time she turned back, he was already propped up against a tree with his eyes closed. She had the immense urge to say something to him, anything, but she couldn't bring herself to say it.

After five minutes of pure silence of the mind, she found herself contemplating how she had gotten herself into this position. The stress relief of the King of Erebor. She gave a huff of rueful laughter. Suddenly she felt a lot more worthless than she had before. She would've at least thought that Thorin would have still held some sort of sentiment toward her. If only a small inkling of affection. Now she was just his toy, his plaything. And she, Elysian of Fanthorpe, would allow it. What a level she'd stooped to.

"Something on your mind?"

His voice pulled her out of her nostalgia. She dragged her glance to him for a fleeting moment. He had turned over and was facing her, his head resting against the tree trunk. she had to pull her gaze away instantaneously. She shrugged, pursing her lips and looking at the ground.

"Don't think that fools me for a moment." He propped himself up on his elbow, giving her a hard stare that told her she wasn't going to get away.

Elysian sighed and shrugged again. "It's nothing, really. Get some rest."

When he didn't budge, simply raising his eyebrow slightly at her, she rolled her eyes and repeated herself. "It's nothing. Get some rest."

"I know what you said," he answered. "But I want to know what you're thinking."

Her eyes met with his dark blue orbs and she couldn't pull her gaze away. she inhaled deeply. "I thought it a trifle. You wouldn't care."

"Would I not?" He tipped his head ever so slightly to the side. "And how do you know that?"

"Because I know." she muttered, her voice sharp.

He chuckled softly. "Is it a crime to want to know what is wrong with my captain?"

"Really, it isn't your job to worry about me." A flash of pain struck her heart as she was reminded of the old days, when he was looking out for her. "I'm fine."

Thorin sat up fully, pushing himself off the tree trunk. "Alright."

"Please, go to sleep." she pleaded. "You need to save your energy."

"You are forgetting your place." He did not sound angry, but his voice was quiet and laced with slight irritation. "You do not need to worry about me, as I do not need to worry about you."

"Whatever," she muttered. "Do what you want." she pushed herself off the ground, getting to her feet. She stretched and yawned. She plucked her bow and quiver off the ground and began walking out into the forest. She needed some serious time to think.

x thorin x

He watched her as she jogged off into the dark forest, her silver bow in her hand and her quiver slung over her shoulder. He had the urge to get to his feet and follow her, but he remained sitting underneath the oak tree, watching her leather clad form disappear.

He ran a hand through his tangled dark brown hair. His head was thumping wildly, and he yearned for the damned journey to be over already.

He just wished that he had never even asked Elysian to be his captain in the first place.

Her return to his side was the bane of his self-control. He had never remembered the woman to be so... unintentionally beguiling, as much as he despised to admit it. It was such a nuisance that after he forced herself to forget all about her, she showed up again in his life. And he was to blame.

"Damn it all," she muttered under her breath. She was getting under her skin again. He was going to have to try and restrain herself in order to avoid developing actual feelings for her. _Yes. All I am feeling right now is just nostalgia. Nothing more._

He laid down again and turned on his side, but he found it impossible to sleep. His body was exhausted, but his mind was buzzing. He decided it wasn't worth trying and she climbed to her feet, leaning against the thick tree.

He stared up at the night sky, which was covered in bright stars. He couldn't tear his gaze away from them. They reminded him of the many nights he spent keeping guard of his people, after Erebor had been taken by Smaug. Before they had all gone their separate ways. Before he met Elysian.

The stars brought such terrible memories, but with it fond memories also. There had been a light at the end of the tunnel.

And there must have been one in the damned tunnel he was stuck in at that moment in time.

He sighed and sunk to the floor again, his eyes still trained on the night sky. He had promised himself to keep any urges or desires under tight reins. And so far, he was failing.

Besides, she probably would not ever allow him to use her like that ever again. She was a respectable woman, and from how he knew her, she would never allow it.

Apparently, he was wrong.

"Thorin?"

Her silken voice was quiet and meek. He frowned. Elysian was _never _meek. He turned his gaze to the left, where she had just reappeared. Her hands were clasped and her gaze was on the floor.

"Yes?"

Elysian brought her silver gaze up and met her eyes. "I... I apologize for my behaviour earlier. Although there are things on my mind that are none of your concern, there are things that you need to know."

_But what if I want it to be of my concern? _He shook the unwanted thought away. _Nonsense. I do not care._

"Alright then." He answered, his voice bland. She approached him, dropping her bow and quiver beside her other items as she sat down, her back leaning on the tree to the left of the one he was propped up against. She brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs and clasping her hands.

For a few minutes there was silence. Then she finally spoke up, hesitating slightly. "I understand exactly how you feel," she began, sounding a bit uneasy. "With the whole stress thing. I definitely understand that... I'm the same." She admitted. "And through experience, I've figured that, ah, what they did quite liberates the pressure." She laughed wryly. "This is really awkward." A soft smirk came to her face and she found herself giving a small nod. "But anyway." She cleared her throat and continued. "I guess... we could make another arrangement. Of course, it's only purpose being to keep their consciences clear of any unwanted burdens. But it has to stay an absolute secret. Only between us. And to never, ever let it leave the bedroom. Do you understand?"

He almost laughed. Does _he _understand? Of course he damn well did. But he nodded slowly. "This was not what I expected from you."

"I know... I'm quite shocked at myself also." She answered, biting her lip and worrying the supple pink flesh between her teeth. "I hope it's perfectly clear that it is, mutually, not personal."

"I know. Trust me, I know." He turned fully towards her, a smirk tugging at his lips. "I accept your arrangement, and its conditions."

She laughed. "I would have been thinking you would be the one to propose this to me instead."

He hesitated before answering. "I too thought that. Actually, she was going to ask you about it today. After all, the only woman in Erebor is Tauriel, and..."

"Yeah. Self-explanatory."

"Exactly." He nodded. "So, rest assured. I was going to speak to you about it."

"But you didn't. So..." She shuffled down a bit and turned over, laying on her side. "Well, if you aren't sleeping, then I will." That was the last thing they said to each other that night.

x elysian x

The next morning, she woke peacefully at the crack of dawn. She yawned, stretching her arms, and glanced over at Thorin. He had dozed off, and usually she would have given him a piece of her mind for that. But he looked so defenseless, like all of his burdens and worries were nonexistent. She couldn't help but let the trace of a smile grace her lips. He looked so... childlike, innocent, if you will.

She immediately tore the smile off her face, her features sobering quickly. She was still not very happy with him, in some way. So that kind of attitude was not acceptable. "Hey," she said. "Get up."

He mumbled something inaudibly and she sighed. "Thorin Oakenshield, get your ass up. We have places to be."

Thorin's blue eyes opened and as soon as he emerged into the waking world, his expression disappeared and was replaced with his guarded, surly look. "Of course." He sounded tired. She didn't blame him; he probably only got an hour of sleep.

They packed up their things with ease and set off onto the road. Within five minutes, the borders of Mirkwood were far behind them and they were back on track towards their goal.

She was in the lead this time. It was refreshing to not have to stare at Thorin's back all day. It was a beautiful morning, and she smiled softly as the sun rose over the horizon.

Perhaps the journey wouldn't be so bad after all.

**Due to some recent events, I'm still in the process of rewriting the rest. I hope I should be able to publish it soon. Thank you for your patience, you guys are amazing.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Look** **who's finally back, huh? Some hiccups have prevented me from continuing with any of my fics, so hopefully this will mark the beginning of a new period of plentiful chapters!**

**x elysian x**

The sun was setting on the sixth day of their journey, and if Elysian's map was correct, they were not far away from where Thorin's would be waiting for us. She had no idea what he wished to achieve by attacking an Orcish stronghold so far from home, but she was required to follow his orders.

They seldom spoke about anything but where they would rest and who would take the watch. She found it slightly disappointing. Despite her grudges, she genuinely wanted to come to terms with Thorin and their past. But it seemed like he didn't want anything to do with her.

And she supposed that was fair. She blatantly ignored him when he pleaded for forgiveness. It was a shame she only came to realize that she should have bitten and swallowed her pride and forgiven him long after they parted ways.

But she couldn't let her feelings get in the way of her job.

"We won't stop and rest tonight," Thorin's voice pulled Elysian out of her thoughts, and she found herself nodding even though he was in the lead and couldn't see her.

"I'm alright with that." She answered. "We shouldn't be far from the camp now."

He simply nodded. She looked up at the darkening sky, a slightly sobering sensation of nostalgia coming over her. She remembered all of the moonlit nights the two of them spent sleeping out underneath the stars, their journey across Middle-earth seeming as peaceful as life could ever get in a world like the one they lived in. They had been almost everywhere together, and it was impossible to stop in at villages and cities without remembering each building and the various things that happened there.

Elysian gave a huff, her feelings suddenly taking a rapid turn for the worse. She rolled my eyes at herself and gripped the reins tighter, feeling more frustrated than ever. She couldn't stand how unprofessional she had let herself become.

Elysian found herself boring resentful holes into Thorin's back with her eyes. Her frustration was mounting, turning into something more. And she did not like it one bit.

Within the hour, the forest dwindled away and was replaced by endless plains. On the horizon, she could only just see a fortress as black as nighr which, just by looking at it, you could tell it housed Orcs and all kinds of horrid creatures. She grimaced as an unwelcome chill travelled down her spine. It was a long while away, maybe about an hour's travel.

She turned her gaze a little to the right and saw their camp. It was small, and concealed well. She would not have noticed it if she hadn't been looking specifically for it. Inwardly she admired how well the soldiers had chosen their spot.

Due to its small size, the camp was pretty packed. And even then, she assumed that there were other little camps dotted around the plains which housed more of our people. She brought her horse to a halt as they came to the edges of camp.

"Alright. Shall I go ask where we'll be staying?" Elysian asked. Thorin gave a small nod, stopping his horse beside her's. She dismounted smoothly and approached one of the soldiers.

"We've arrived," she announced. "Now, if you wouldn't mind, show me to where I'll be setting up for time being."

He gave a nod and pointed to a small, makeshift shelter a few hundred metres away. "You and the King are going to have to share."

The trip was just getting worse and wose. She offered a few choice words to the Valar before nodding placidly.

"Fine, that's fine." Her exterior differed wildly from her inner feelings. "Thank you. As you were." She turned and began walking back to Thorin.

"We have to share," she said stiffly, gripping her horse's reins tightly. "Follow me."

His displeasure was palpable, but he managed to hide it from his voice. "Alright." He said monotonously as they wordlessly made for the shelter.

It looked a bit like a tent, she realized as she got closer. It had two wooden pikes for tying up the horses beside it, and it was large enough to accomodate then both and their necessary items and whatnot.

Elysian bound her horse's reins to the wooden pole and peeked inside the shelter. Inside sat a small table and two bedrolls. She breathed a sigh of relief. After almost a week of sleeping up against trees or not sleeping at all, a bedroll looked like heaven.

She entered the shelter fully and shifted her bedroll a little bit further from Thorin's. She felt stupid and immature in doing so, but she had her emotions to consider. Like whether she would end up cuddling him, or cutting off his head during the night. There was a fine line between the two and it was beginning to be a major problem.

"Is it habitable?" Came the question from the dwarf outside the shelter who was still tying up his horse.

"It's better than sleeping outside in a forest, I'll tell you that." Sge answered, sitting on her bedroll and sifting through the contents of her pack. "I think we should go to sleep soon, actually. We have lots to do tomorrow."

"By lots to do, I take it you mean attacking an Orc stronghold." I could almost see the smirk on his face by the tone of his voice.

"I want to get back home." She answered, then realizing what she had said. "I mean, to Erebor. Not..."

"Don't bother," he muttered, all mirth gone from his voice. "You're going to be staying there for a long time, so it is your home now."

Elysian went silent, mulling over how she would answer. She quickly decided on not answering at all. She put her pack aside, not bothering to change out of her armor before crawling into my bedroll.

Thorin entered the shelter, glancing around the interior. He didn't say a word as he turned away from her, slipping off his shirt and replacing it with his fur coat.

Now that they were alone and not bothered with the burden of travel, she felt all of her thoughts and feelings from the long journey crash into her. And she thought they were difficult to bear whilst on the journey; what was she thinking?

"Thorin," she finally ground out, after a long silence and brief consideration. "I wish to speak with you."

He grunted. "Again? What is it this time?" He sat down on his bedroll and she propped herself up on her side to face him.

_Now or never. Say it or never say it at all._

"... I'm sorry." Elysian mumbled.

His dark blue eyes went wide, staring at the floor before raising his gaze to look at her.

"I'm sorry I didn't forgive you, when... forget it, you know what I'm referring to. I don't need to explain." She continued, unable to meet his gaze. She kept her eyes glued to the ground below her. "I'm sorry I refused to even correspond with you, let alone explain yourself. I just want to mend things, if possible. After all, if I'm going to be staying with you for a long while then I guess we'll have to."

She finally lifted her gaze to meet his timidly, preparing herself for any reaction she thought he would have. He was a predictable man, in some ways. For instance, she could always predict that he'd be unpredictable. She expected to see anger, surprise, bitterness or no emotion at all in his eyes. But she did not expect to see what she did.

Immediately he reached towards her, the gap between them suddenly not as large as she wanted it to be. His arms closed around her and their lips met before she could protest. It was so different from their other intimate moments, but it was just as exhilarating and breathtaking.

Unlike how he usually kissed her, this one burned not with anger and frustration but with passion. She never thought he would ever show such an emotion towards her again. Evidently, she was wrong. Her hands found their way to his hair, tangling her fingers in his dark tresses. He was holding her tighter than ever, as if he didn't ever want to let her go.

They kissed like that until their throats burned for air. She pulled her lips away grudgingly, sucking in deep breaths of air.

"What was that supposed to mean?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I accept your apology. Simply, that is all." He hadn't loosened his grip at all. She lightly eased away from him and he realized she wanted to be released, so he unlocked his arms from around her. "I do not have feelings for you. And I assume you harbor none for me."

Her body acted on its own as she pushed him back and shifted her body, lightly lowered herself onto his torso. He gazed up at her with confusion and curiousity in his eyes. She, too, was wondering what impulse could've possibly implored her to do that and what it wished to achieve. It seemed as if her body wanted it, but her mind was unsure. She placed her hands on his chest that was bare save his fur cloak and leant down, placing her lips on his collarbone briefly.

She was finding it difficult to distinguish what she wanted from what she didn't. It was driving her insane, so my heart acted for me and decided to go with whatever came to her. "Then let's pretend," she whispered, her lips beside his ears. "Even if for one night, let's pretend we do."

Time seemed to stand still as he gently placed his hands on her hips. No force was behind his grip; it was as if he was just putting his hands on her just so he could touch her, feel her skin. His answer was clear, although he wasn't saying anything. Just gazing up at her.

She leant down again and rested her forehead on his, the tips of their noses touching. They always used to do that, back when things were simpler. She shifted her hands to his shoulders, easing the fur cloak off his body. Thorin got the idea and began to unbuckle her armor slowly, keeping out of the way of her hands.

The gauntlets were gone, and so was his coat. She gently brought her fingers to his hair, brushing a few locks out of his face as he began to work on her cuirass. Elysian placed her lips on his cheek, then his neck, and collarbone, and then his left pectoral.

The black leather cuirass fell away from her body, finding its way into a heap beside their other clothing. He carressed her upper breasts gently, running his thumbs over the soft flesh.

"I didn't expect you to be so capable of such gentleness," she remarked softly, a faint smirk on her face. She knew he could be, definitely. As a lover, Thorin Oakenshield was the best of both worlds.

He barely answered, only responding with a quietly mumbled 'mmm'. His hands deftly rid her body of the undergarment covering her breasts as she traced her fingers along his cheekbones gently. She couldn't, or didn't want to, identify the exact feeling in her gut. Her emotions were confusing her. And she wasn't liking it.

What drove her to shuffle down his body slightly to go another step further and remove his trousers was beyond her. It was as if another power was controlling her, as if her willpower meant nothing. Her mind was arguing with itself, and it was making her head spin.

Thorin watched her with slight curiousity as she removed his trousers and undergarments with ease. She slowly and somewhat hesitantly removed her own remaining undergarments, beginning to regret putting this into action. But it was too late to go back. He obviously planned to go through with it, so who was she, his captain, to argue.

"Elysian." His coarse voice was enough to bring me out of my stupor. My gaze flickered to meet his and she found herself wondering, yet again, what her heart and mind truly desired.

His dark blue gaze bore into her eyes intensely. He placed his rough, calloused hands on her hips again, but made no effort to shift her. "I see that you are hesitant." His voice was quiet, harboring no kind of empathy at all. He was merely making a statement.

"I am, rather," Elysian confessed, placing her hands on top of his. "I don't know what I want. If you don't desire this then I-"

"Don't say anything else." He commanded. "I do not wish for it to end here. But if you are hesitant, then... Then I suppose our agreement could be cancelled." His voice was laced with stifled disappointment that was barely noticeable.

"Hey. When did I say that?" She rose an eyebrow, smirking a little. "I'm not averse to a roll between the sheets, you know that. I just..." She took a deep breath. "I don't know. Forget I said anything."

"Well, decide." He said, his voice dull. "I'm getting impatient."

"Mmm." She murmured, lifting her hips slightly. Her eyes met with his and she felt the gentle flame inside of her stomach grow into a blazing inferno of something between lust and adrenaline. He adjusted her hips to hover over his, and the tip of his manhood brushed her entrance, electrifying her body beyond what she imagined it would. He pulled me down onto his length, and her back went rigid as he filled her completely.

"Ahh..." She let out a soft murmur of approval as she took things into her own hands. She rolled my hips slowly, Thorin's breath hitching. She smirked gently, repeating the action. He mumbled something breathlessly, and she didn't bother trying to decipher what he said as she lifted her hips and lowered them down again with ease and practice.

One of his hands left her hip and traced her jaw gently, bringing their lips to brush against each others softly. The simple action was always something that sent gentle flames all through her body. Her eyes fluttered closed and she mumbled his name breathlessly.

As she established a steady pace, he closed the distance between their lips. They molded together perfectly, as they always had. He removed his hand from her jaw and replaced it on her hip. Then he did something unexpected. He bucked his hips, eliciting a cry of pleasure from her. Then he began to raise and lower her again, and he did it over and over. Slowly he sped up and she cried out again, her fingernails digging into his shoulders. She felt her body ignite deliciously as he connected with the spot inside her that made her almost turn to jelly in his arms. She moaned, rocking with his movements.

He sped up even more and held her hips tight, lifting her up a tiny bit. He began to thrust into her faster than she would have ever expected. Unimaginable pleasure lanced through her body, making her go weak. She cried out, the intense pressure in her abdomen getting more difficult to bear.

Her mind was blurring, and she couldn't see straight. She settled for squeezing her eyes shut as she cried out with ecstasy.

"Open your eyes." He commanded, his voice strained and hoarse with need and arousal. She forced her eyes open and they met with his. His blue orbs burned with desire and it made her body burn even more.

Her back arched as immense ecstasy spread to every inch of her body. He leant forward and captured her lips in his needily, the desire palpable in his burning kiss.

She was approaching her summit fast. His lips were suppressing her cries of pleasure, which was probably for the better, as the others would probably hear her otherwise. Her body on fire and it felt like heaven as she teetered on the edge.

Her insides tightened around his member, signalling what was certainly coming next. He grunted as if to tell her he was going with her, and with his final hard thrust, she came undone.

She had to try hard not to break free and cry out. It hardly did earth-shattering justice as she descended from her high, her body wracking with ecstasy. He groaned into the kiss as they rolled with the orgasm.

Their lips parted and she panted breathlessly, her throat hoarse.

"Thorin..." She mumbled, lifting herself off his length and lowering to lay on top of him. Her cheek rested on his chest and she listened to his rapid heartbeat. He rested his hand on her head and her eyes fluttered closed as exhaustion overtook her.

Elysian barely noticed as he pulled the thin covers up over them. Her mind was already halfway to slumber. She slowly drifted off into blissful darkness, the last sensation his hand toying with her dark locks.

And when she woke beside him the next morning, she realized it had been the best sleep she'd had in years.

**Ugh, editing this fic makes me cringe so hard. How was I ever that terrible at writing?**

**Anyway, reviews are appreciated. Love every single one I get! Have a lovely day c:**


	11. just a candid author's note

hi everyone.

this author's note will be posted to every single ongoing fanfic I have, so if you're following any of my other fics you'll see it there too.

I'm just going to have to be honest here, since I can't really keep lying and saying I just "lost my muse" or something.

for a while, I've been struggling with severe mental disorders which as of late have gotten so bad that I can no longer attend school for more than a few days at a time or go out in public without going through hell while I'm there. to be honest, it's getting really hard to create ANYTHING. I can't draw, I can't do my school work, and of course, I can't even write. every time I think I have some sort of muse, I pull up a word document and as soon as I look at it, it's like every word that I could've possibly put on the page has just disappeared from my mind. I can't create, full stop. so I'm sorry. I hope that at some point in the near future I will be have at least some control over my mind and what it does. until then, I hope you all continue to stay with me and hope for my recovery as much as I am.

much love, always.

scarlet.


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